Who am I? I'm nothing special

Next week is my graduation from NUS, and yet I am not particularly thrilled.

Apparently I studied almost excessively hard, which explains my 2nd Upper Honours. Unfortunately I can't land the desired job of my choice so far, and this seem to prove that while I am not terrible, I'm nothing special. Nothing interesting or good I can offer a company that the average programmer cannot...

This counting is getting mechanical...

Companies applied for:

1. DSO
2. IHIS
3. DSTA
4. ST Electronics Info-Comm Systems
5. ASM
6. CSIT
7. OCBC
8. NUS Computer Centre
9. IBM
10. ANTlabs
11. M1
12. NCS
13. ST Electronics Info-Software Systems

Interviews attended:

1. DSO
2. DSTA
3. OCBC
4. ST Electronics Info-Comm Systems
5. CSIT
6. NUS Computer Centre (Engineering IT Unit)
7. ANTlabs
8. NUS Computer Centre (Panel interview)

Went for NINE interviews (Including 2nd interview at ST Electronics Info-comm) so far. No news yet.

Time to lower expectations, I'll have to settle for the average companies.

Technical/Aptitude tests taken:

1. CSIT
2. IBM
3. NUS Computer Centre (Engineering IT Unit)
4. ANTlabs

CSIT test for System Analyst appeared to be easier, consisting of  a written essay and MCQs and T/F questions but its the questions testing on the required specialized skills that I have no idea how to answer.

I most probably did not ace IBM's aptitude tests and hence wasted one day of my time.

The Java test by NUS Computer Centre tests me on Java Server Programming, and I'm screwed because yet again I have no specialized skills.

ANTlabs' technical test was a C-programming task which I completed somewhat successfully at home. Doesn't stop me from screwing up the interview (I can't answer most of the questions they asked).

Job offers: -

Conclusion to Job Search Saga
I've always make sure to keep myself sharp during the holidays by self-practising in programming tasks or going for internships.

What for? The hope that one day I am able to get a big break in my career in technical work, namely Software Development. However, it turned out that a truly good software engineer requires certain skills which I did not train myself well enough! I'll not elaborate: It is easy to list all my shortcomings in preparing myself for the real-life working world, but that's going to take another paragraph.

Well having realized that my big break will not come on my first job, so how about finding a job that will prepare for that? Whoops. Turns out that these jobs require such deep technical knowledge that... 1) I have never learned in school and 2) I may have problem picking up on my own since it is a rather unfamiliar area. ANTlabs and ST Electronics Info-comm are examples.

I've given it a thought and I have conceded: Indeed my technical skills are amateurish and knowledge merely average. I've given up on trying to find a good career path for me, and I'll just go about finding any do-able jobs that pays decently. People would say that it is foolish of me to give up right after graduation, but I'm realistic: I know myself. Even in relatively simpler school projects I did not demonstrate much of the problem-solving skills that the real life software development requires. Even in the safe school environment at many times I was unable to think on my own feet, which again, a true professional requires. And so on and so forth.

So there, probably I will just end up with the vast majority of the human population, who are doomed to mediocrity and obscurity. I'll probably not talk much about this again.